The Ultimate Guide to the After 40 Low Key Gay Wedding

The Ultimate Guide to the After 40 Low Key Gay Wedding

Let’s get one thing straight right off the bat…

Your wedding can be however you want it to be – big or small, casual or formal, over-the-top or low-key, it’s up to you and your better half.

The point is, that no matter how old you are or which state you live in, you now have the right to have that wedding and to have it be 100% legally official.

So, now that most of us have gotten over the happy shock of this long-awaited change, it’s time to get down to the business of planning weddings…which is something entirely different from abstractly celebrating the right to marry.

This is a guide for those who lean more towards the low-key and low stress, the ones who still want to have a day with the proper sense of occasion without the hullabaloo that comes with planning a huge, extravagant affair.

Before you delve into Pinterest wedding boards with abandon, begin here…

The Engagement

When it comes to popping the question, avoid the public, the showy and the complicated. After all, this moment is about 2 people making a very serious and intimate commitment to one another – you don’t need skywriting or a flash mob to do it right.

Even a low-key wedding costs more than you might think, so you may not want to eat into your budget with a fancy engagement party. Throw a backyard cocktail party or just gather your closest friends and family at a local bar or restaurant for a few toasts to recognize this exciting new chapter in your lives.

The Venue

Low key weddings usually equal fairly small guests lists, which means you have a lot more possibilities for the wedding venue. You could do something like renting out your favorite restaurant for the night or even rent out an entire bed and breakfast for the whole weekend so that you and your guests can enjoy this special time together in a leisurely and totally private way. Wherever you choose, make sure it’s a place that you feel comfortable – if you get even a whiff of discrimination or judgement, get the hell out of there.

The Invitations

You definitely don’t need to go for the traditional, “Mr. and Mrs. Parents Request Your Presence…” thing. Chances are, you and your partner are footing the bill, so make your invitation reflects your personalities. And if your guest list isn’t a mile long and either you or your significant other are is a little crafty, you can easily create beautiful invitations on your own.

The Clothes

Don’t feel the need to go full tuxedo here, unless of course, you want to. You’ll both look groom-worthy and dapper in beautiful suits that reflect your taste. But your options don’t end there – feel free to don a seersucker suit for the summer or even a classic yet hip look like a suspenders and a pork pie hat.

If you have a wedding party, the same goes for them. The low key choice that will still give you a unified look is to give the ladies and gents a color scheme and leave the rest up to them.

The Décor

You can easily drop thousands of dollars and dozens of hours on your wedding décor, but that doesn’t mean you should. If you pick a lovely venue, you won’t have to get crazy with decorations. In fact, sometimes a simpler look is more elegant anyway.

Incorporate classic touches like flowers that are in-season, floating candles, white Christmas lights, and mirrors. Or opt for a beautiful rustic look with things like driftwood, wildflowers in mason jars, lanterns and burlap. Don’t overthink it – everyone will be looking at the two of you anyway.

The Dinner

Instead of trying to impress your guests with fancy fare, let the menu be inspired by you and your partner’s favorite comfort foods or dishes that conjure memories of important times in your relationship. And to really give the dinner an easy, laidback feel, consider doing a buffet and letting people sit wherever they want instead of more formal, assigned seating.

The Party

Now this is the part you’ve all been waiting for. To guarantee a fun night you’ll never forget, be inspired by other fun nights you’ll never forget. Do you and your fiancé like live music or do you have the best time when you’re singing along to your favorites on a playlist? Just make sure that you have a designated dance floor and, depending on your crowd, an open bar. If need be, scrimp on other elements in order to keep the drinks flowing.

The Honeymoon

In days gone by, the newlyweds would be whisked away to their honeymoon the very day after the wedding. But for many, this tradition makes no sense. If you don’t have the time, energy or money to go on a vacation right after your wedding, that’s perfectly OK. You may even appreciate it more if you go 6 months later.

Given the fact that you and your fiancé probably already have basic housewares and may even live together already, consider asking your guests for donations to your honeymoon instead of gifts – use sites like Honeyfund to register for dinners in Paris or beachside dinners in Hawaii.

Planning a wedding doesn’t have to be stressful, it just has to get you to, “I Do,” which will be much more likely if you and your fiancé don’t kill each other while planning extravagant nuptials.

Having a laidback, low-key wedding doesn’t mean you have to sacrifice beauty, fun or meaning. Approach the affair as if you were planning a fabulous party for your favorite people in the world and the rest will come naturally.

About the Author: Jay Deratany is a jack of several trades. In addition to being a travel blogger, he is also an attorney, LGBT rights activist, screenwriter, and hotel owner. Jay’s latest project is The Kirby, a boutique hotel and wine bar in southwest Michigan that brings a luxurious, sophisticated option to Saugatuck lodging. To learn more, visit www.ThekirbyHotel.com today!