Significance ( 3 of 6 Human Needs)

I am sure you heard that there is a reason behind everything we do, whether it’s conscious or unconscious. We will be exploring the Six human needs and how it affects our relationships with each other as well as in life.

Everyone has these 6 human needs. How one prioritizes the needs determines how they act.

 Are you meeting those needs in a way which is empowering or in a way which is destructive?

 If you’ve ever wondered what drives your daily life or wanted to change your path, I believe that this will be a great series to follow. If you identify with the needs, there will be an opportunity to develop significant change.

For 6 weeks, we will explore the 6 Human Needs. Inspired and created by Tony Robbins. We will put a unique gay spin to them.

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 Significance ( 3 of 6 Human Needs)

 The need to feel important, achievement, respect, special, needed, wanted and unique in our lives.

Significance

• This is the secondary driver for most people, The first driver is certainty.
• The feeling of wanting to be unique and important
• This often eludes us when we try to manufacture it
• Most people’s rules of what has to be in place for significance are very high
•  We have rules in our brain that define what meets this criteria and we sometimes set the game up to lose

You need to feel that you matter. It does not mean necessarily that your better than someone else but that you play a significant role in someone’s life. For each of us, it can mean a different thing regarding our behavior and degree. Some of it maybe positive as well as negative.

Significance can mean different things to different people. For example, if you are talking to your partner, and he or she is not listening, you may get upset. You may feel less significant. You play an importance of people listening to what you have to say.

Why do you think that Facebook is so popular. We want to see how many likes we get and how many fans we have. It may make you feel significant . Strolling thru the feeds provides variety.

Positive Ways to Gain Significance:

Our search for meaning to life events is one way of fulfilling our need for significance.

Some people will achieve significance by dressing differently. Some will dress in the latest trends and/ or start a trend.

Some people are performers and like the attention. For example, they may create videos and have them  all over YouTube.

Another example is someone who may like doing Marathons and try to be the best athlete one can be. Collecting marathon tags from events or trophies may bring significance to a person.

Being the top salesperson in an organization and being recognized by his or her peers is conducive to someone who needs significance.

For some, significance comes from providing for their family.

For others, significance is doing meaningful work. Some will need to make a major contribution to humanity to feel significant.

Food also can be found in the Significance need. One might be a great food  connoisseur who has a great deal of knowledge about cuisines and restaurants. He or she enjoys the fact they are looked upon as an authority by their peers. One must pause and ask themselves how are one’s eating behaviors fulfilling the significance need regarding one’s health.

Negative Ways to Gain Significance:

Usually negative ways will drain a person and not provide fulfillment .

We can achieve significance by building  something huge, or tearing down something or someone.

You can achieve significance by sleeping with other men. You may enjoy the significance need by conquering new territory. Proving to yourself that  you have significance . It is superficial. It is not long lasting and unhealthy way to gain significance.

Committing white-collar crime for the need to feel significant with luxurious cars and items like Rolex watches can create severe significance consequences as well.

I remember being bullied as a child just because I was gay. It brought significance to the guys that bullied me. They felt so much better about themselves .

Why is there violence in the world? 

Pulling a gun on another person, gives them instant significance. Violence is the fastest way of getting a lot of drivers all at once. Do you feel certain with a weapon in your hand, do people listen to you? Can you make them do things? Do you feel significant that everyone is doing what you say because you have a weapon? They have the significance of deciding if a person should die or not.  Does it also  create some uncertainty or variety? That is why there is violence in the world because people are willing to meet these drivers.

Many times I  hear  that a person that committed a crime will tell their friends about it, thus getting caught. The significance need is so great that they cannot help but proclaim that they beat up an elderly man or robbed a bank.

Animal abuse is also a sign of the need for significance, and a sign of future human abuse.

Join me next time when I explain the fourth human need which is

The need to feel togetherness, passion, unity, warmth, desire and love in our lives.

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Did You Know?

We do hold group and private life coaching at GLA40 for a small fee to help you over overcome obstacles that may  interfere with your ability to have a fulfilled  life.

To get serious results, one may need to make an investment in themselves for an  ultimate transformation.

Many of us at our age  are driven by a deep knowing that we were born for a certain reason. Maybe, you feel that your life is not totally fulfilled yet , and you have  decided that you don’t want to waste your time anymore. If not now, when will you actually lead a more fulfilling life or get help with a problem that you may have carried with you for over 20 years? But  your heart and soul must be invested in the process in order to be effective. If you’re not ready to take bold action, please wait until you are before hiring us..

If you’re ready to age forward and begin your own transformation and your heart and soul are saying, “ Lets Do this!” ,  I hope you’ll take the leap with us and contact us at will@gaylifeafter40.com