Seven Choices You Always Have
Seven Choices You Always Have
by Steven Reeder, ACC
I recently saw a news article showing that an individual in Alabama purchased an auto vanity plate. The vanity plate is pink with graphics indicating support for breast cancer awareness. The plate holder chose for the vanity inscription to be “NOHOMO.”
I was made aware of this plate and subsequent news article through an online friend sharing it in social media, presenting this incident as validating his own persecution complex. My first reaction was sadness, not over the article, but of my friend’s admission. I have my own history with a persecution complex (sometimes, it’s not even history) and it can be a painful place to be. I also recognize the incident not as the cause of the persecution complex, but a trigger for a pattern that has already surfaced and been reinforced a thousand times before.
There have been so many news articles in recent months that have highlighted the many opponents and detractors to gay and lesbian equality. It sometimes seems as if we have no choice but to feel persecuted and shut out. Yet we actually have seven distinct choices in every circumstance of life.
Choice #1: Victim
“I can’t believe this is happening to me. I’m always being put down. No one accepts me; everyone is out to get me. This is terrible, and it’s going to get worse. There’s nothing I can do about it. I’m consumed with fear, worry and guilt. I lose.”
Choice #2: Conflict
“What a jerk! Someone ought to beat the crap out of this person. Those people are so stupid. I’m pissed off, and have every reason to resent you. I’m entitled to have my way, and will take you out to make sure I win.”
Choice #3: Responsibility
“Oh well. That person just doesn’t know any better. The world is a tough place to be, I just have to be careful. At least I don’t know anyone like this in my own life. Things are pretty good for me even when there are bad things in the world. I can cope with this. I will win by taking care of myself.”
Choice #4: Compassion
“I wonder what that person is going through that they think something like this? I want to help them fix their perception and support them to have a better perspective. What can I do to help? I want that person to heal. I want you to win.”
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Choice #5: Opportunity
“It’s great that people’s opinions are coming out in the open. This offers a great opportunity to have a discussion about this important topic, which has not gotten the attention it deserves. How exciting to be given this opportunity for everyone to come to the table. We can work together. Everyone needs to win, or else no one wins.”
Choice 6: Reconciliation
“How amazing it is to see that everyone has fears, regardless of what they are. I don’t judge that person; they are being authentic to who they are, given their own model of the world at this time. In a world of duality, there’s darkness and light. What I’m seeing is part of the bigger picture. We all win, because life is about having the experience.“
Choice #7: Observation
“Everything is as it is. I am completely detached from the outcome. Any feeling (or no feeling) about this is perfect. There is nothing and no one to judge. All things in the material world, including winning and losing, are illusory.”
To say the least, some choices are easier to make than others. Which choices do you make more often? Under what circumstances? What are your triggers? How can you anticipate your own triggers and make a choice that serves you better?
Granted, none of these choices is the right or wrong choice. You are always free to make the choice that serves you at the time, given your own circumstance and model of world as you see it. The important thing to remember is that you always have seven choices, even when you think you have none.
Steven Reeder, ACC, CPC, ELI-MP
Two things in life strike him to the core: rock and roll, and personal growth and development. Electric guitars move his outer body, while the pursuit of wisdom and discernment moves his inner body. He synthesizes aspects of theology, science, training and development to present practical, tangible material that is immediately applicable to life for instant impact. Steven combines his knowledge of the metaphysical and the practical to create a unique approach to helping you create your best life. Steven is a Certified Professional Coach and Energy Leadership Master Practitioner, owner of U Line Coaching, whose writing has featured by GayLifeAfter40.com and Metropolitan Community Church. For more information about one-on-one or group coaching opportunities please send email to Steven@StevenReeder.com
