Orlando and the Fundamentals of Choice

As it is with our Nation and the world,  the tragic events occurring in Orlando this past weekend weigh heavily on the hearts and minds of the GLA40 family.  The victims, and  their loved ones will continue to be in our thoughts and prayers for years to come.

We cannot succumb to fear and terror allowing this senseless act to have the desired effect of the attacker. Steven Reeder wrote a fine article that may help all of us try to deal with this horrific event last weekend and to make some choices as well.

Age Forward in Life
William Smith

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Orlando and the Fundamentals of Choice

A Perspective

By Steven Reeder

On Sunday, June 12, I had a sorrowful sense of deja vu.  I recalled having gone to Cedar Point amusement park in Ohio for my birthday in 1998. On the way home, speeding westbound on Interstate 80/90 through Indiana, I heard on the radio that Matthew Shepard, a young gay man who had been found beaten and tied to a fence post in Wyoming, had died in the hospital.

Now eighteen years later, driving on the same stretch of road, returning again from Cedar Point, I began receiving details about the Pulse nightclub attack in my former home town of Orlando, where I came out in the early 1990’s.  This time, instead of one young man, it’s forty nine men and women. Some of my dear friends in Orlando are grieving the loss of personal friends and coworkers.

None of us will likely make sense of these horrific events in the near future, if ever. However, knowing I had hours on the road in which to brood over this overwhelming topic, I thought I would try something. We often read memes, or inspirational quotes and books, that validate us and make us feel great while the sun is shining everything is rosy, but can be a bit hollow when we seek real understanding and relief from the pain of the world and our own lives. Wisdom teachings aren’t good for much if they can’t both carry us through darkness as well as focus the light.

So I decided on that road trip to apply a template present in many Eastern and Western traditions, and can also be adapted for secular life as well. It’s a template of seven that I wrote about in a previous article, “Seven Choices You Always Have.” I thought to myself, “How will this wisdom hold up under the worst of circumstances?”

As I reviewed the Seven Choices in my head, I examined not only the actions, but the responses, attitudes and perceptions that followed. Some people are latching on to the ethnicity of the shooter in order to ramp up their own well-established anti-Muslim rhetoric. Others focus on our nation’s gun culture, and wonder how someone known to the FBI since 2013 could so readily acquire an assault rifle. Still others are pointing toward politicians, who through years of pushing anti-gay legislation through our government, have sown the seeds for this tragedy and possibly more to come.

Intrinsic to all of these dark rabbit holes is the principle of fundamentalism. Any time someone upholds unwavering adherence to the literal interpretation of an idea, fundamentalism is in practice. Fundamentalism is characterized by black-and-white thinking, where there is only one right way to interpret and act on a belief or perception. Fundamentalism manifests in our modern world as racism, nationalism, sexism, and other forms of exceptionalism.

Most people are familiar with some form of fundamentalism in religion, and many are invoking the fundamentalist beliefs of radical Islam as being an instigator in this recent tragedy in Orlando. Those who do might miss the connection that Christian fundamentalism is also long-standing, having prompted tragedies such as the (Atlanta) Centennial Olympic Park bombing in 1996, murders and bombings at women’s health clinics, and unrest from Belfast to Central Africa to India. Religious fundamentalism has been used to justify slavery, the oppression of women, The Crusades, Spanish Inquisition, and the Salem Witch Trials. Yet it’s not the religion that drives the violent behavior (yes, there are even Buddhist terrorists), but the fundamentalist belief that “my religion — and specifically my personal interpretation of my religion — is the only acceptable doctrine, and anyone who disagrees does not deserve to live.”

Fundamentalists believe that any kind of gun should be available for purchase, in any quantity, by any United States citizen (which incidentally, Orlando’s shooter happened to be). To the fundamentalist, there is no room for interpretation or shades of gunmetal gray, historical context or practical need. Anyone who disagrees with the fundamentalist should piss off and move to France.

Fundamentalists believe that all gays, lesbians, transgendered or just any unwed fornicators are abominations in the eyes of a Caucasian, Christian male deity. To the fundamentalist, a God that looks just like them obviously thinks like them too, and embodies all of their same hang-ups and insecurities. It’s the height of convenience to create God in your own image.

Fundamentalists believe that their race, ethnicity, nation, political party or figure is the superior one: fill in the blank. It’s barely a step up from rooting for your favorite football team. The difference is that when football teams compete, it’s called a game. When ideologies compete, it’s called war.

When transposing all of this on seven-level scale referred to in “Seven Choices You Always Have”, it became abundantly clear. Fundamentalism is rooted in Level 1 thinking [Being The Victim, see Figure 1], literally the lowest level of consciousness and engagement. The fundamentalist aches for control in the physical, outer world where he believes he has none, and laments the perceived loss of the absolute control, which he could never have in the first place. The fundamentalist feels like a victim of the world, though actually he’s merely a victim of his own thinking, because he still has six other choices.

Fundamentalists are driven by the fear and worry that the outside world will change without their permission, into something that does not conform to their black-and-white version of reality, and will not allow for their input or supervision. Thus the energy in motion (“e-motion”) usually ramps up to Level 2 [Being The Fighter], and the fundamentalist fights hard to impose his ideology, often with weaponry. Weaponry can be words, negative thoughts, negative actions, guns or bombs. From the school yard bully to the gun rights movement to the military industrial complex, the guiding principle is that “you will not take away my power, and I’ll eliminate you in order to keep it.” Of course, the fundamentalist doesn’t see any of this as negative or evil, as it all serves his own agenda. In the words of Neale Donald Walsch, “no one does anything inappropriate, given their model of the world.”

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At the personal level, Levels 1 and 2 represent the dichotomy of the “fight or flight” stress response. Yet both are pure stress responses, and the fundamentalist often overlooks the five other options because everything is perceived as stressful. The fundamentalist often seeks comfort only from the like-minded, those who share his fundamentalist belief, and the resulting “solidarity through fear” offers the element of force (Level 2) as a cheap and adequate substitute for true personal power, but affording no inner strength or fortitude. We’re watching in real time as a businessman-turned-entertainer mobilizes the insecure, aching masses (tea party, anyone?) into a political voting base, and is now a presidential nominee.

So what’s the answer to fundamentalism? If fundamentalism flourishes in the lower levels of consciousness, then let us lead by example through the higher levels. Certainly, we won’t take it these recent events lying down (Level 1) and we can fight the fundamentalists and meet them on their level (Level 2). But Einstein reminds us that no problem can be solved from the same level of consciousness that created it. Our anger is justified and will help us mobilize in the short-term, and then real solutions will need to include long-term, sustainable options.

For the time being, our community is in deep mourning and stress. We feel victimized and justifiably angry; we’re each having our own Level 1 & 2 experiences. And we’ll feel that way for as long as it takes. As we get through the coming weeks, months and years, Level 3 [Being The Rationalizer] will allow for us to cope and maintain our self-care, even through periods of great sadness.

Level 4 [Being The Caregiver] is imbued in every person who has come forward to comfort the grieving, and donate blood, time and materials to those in need. Remembering and honoring our friends, brothers, and sisters, gives them the legacy they deserve.

Level 5 [Being The Opportunist] comes through finding opportunities, seeking new ways to engage our communities, to experience our partnerships, alliances and mutual support in times of crisis and in times of celebration.

Level 6 [Being The Visionary] will allow us to access our greatest vision for the world, our community, and ourselves, and how we can bring our gifts into that world every day. Level 7 [Being The Creator] is from where the vision will come, a place of connection to source and unconditional love.

Many people may not feel they can access these higher places right now, while attending to loss, grief and justified anger. Know that it is an option that is available at any time you are ready. It’s a choice you’ll always have.

Steven Reeder, ACC, CPC, ELI-MP

In his early twenties, Steven had a conversation that changed his life. A childhood friend did Steven a favor by informing him that being gay, and certainly being Catholic, would certainly bar him from the Gates of Heaven, and he should repent his soul for Jesus. The encounter, rather than convincing him to convert, prompted him instead to seek the roots and drivers that compel us to do what we do, why we believe what we believe, and how any single credo could be “the only way… or else.”

Today, Steven synthesizes aspects of theology, science, training and development to present practical, tangible material that is immediately applicable to life for instant impact. Steven combines his knowledge of the metaphysical and the practical to create a unique approach to helping you create your best life. Steven is a Certified Professional Coach and Energy Leadership Master Practitioner, writer featured by GayLifeAfter40.com and Metropolitan Community Church. For more information about one-on-one or group coaching opportunities please send email to http://stevenreeder.com/