Open Relationships – For/Against?
Open Relationships – For/Against
by Jay Stewart
It’s the question that is bound to come up at some point in many a gay relationship – should we explore an open relationship? After 40, you may have differing thoughts on it. Have you explored it all and now are ready to settle down? Or have you been partnered for so long that you feel that you’re missing out? Let’s put this question to an informal debate – for and against!
Love is love. Sex is sex.
For – Open Relationships
Many people believe that a relationship can be for loving one singular person, but that sex is sex and shouldn’t impact the relationship. Many will argue that an open relationship strengthens their bond, as they’re able to explore things sexually that they couldn’t do on their own. Through these experiences, they discover more about one another and it brings them closer together.
Against – Open Relationships
Many would argue that if you want to sleep around, then why commit yourself to one person? We’ve all met that couple that after years of being together determines that it’s best to open the relationship. Especially after 40, men start to think of what they’ve missed out on. Sure, it may start as a happy exploration, but then emotions get mixed in, and soon, your partner is spending more time on the prowl than at home.
Exposure to Diseases
Against – Open Relationships
As careful as one can be, you are inviting new individuals into your relationships with medical histories that you aren’t familiar with. Many people have STDs that are asymptomatic and may not knowingly pass something on to you. As you increase your partners, you’re not only sleeping with them, but whomever else that they’ve slept with. Is it really worth risking your health for the sake of one night of sexual fun?
For – Open Relationships
This point only brings up the necessity of clear communication within an open relationship. Let’s face it; we’re over 40, so we should know how to discuss things with others. Having an open relationship doesn’t mean that you’re meeting people at a club for a one night stand. It could involve a friend, you could all go get tested, definitely use protection, and then it minimizes any risks.
Males Aren’t Meant To Be Monogamous
For – Open Relationships
These days, way too many relationships are ending due to societal pressures to be monogamous. After 40, we have the right to rid ourselves of such expectations and live as we please. For many, this involves indulging in our urges. They aren’t interested in sneaking around their partner’s back instead they want to simply hook up with another person. Why would you be in favor of ending a relationship or being deceitful instead of simply having an open relationship?
Against – Open Relationships
The idea that males aren’t into being monogamous is a bad gay stereotype. Many gays do exist in long-term exclusive relationships and they are thriving. Just look at all the fights for gay marriage that exist today. Clearly, there are a number of people that want to have a committed relationship! There’s no need to suggest that people are going to cheat, if they’re not allowed to have an open relationship. See a link to an article regarding the trend for GLBT’s after 40 is to get married, http://www.gaylifeafter40.com/gaynewlywedsover50/
One Is Always More Into It.
Against – Open Relationships
One person has to be the first one to bring up the possibility of the monogamous relationship becoming an open one. Which then leads to the other deciding on if it’s right for them. This creates an imbalance in the relationship. Is one doing it for the other? Are they only doing it, because they don’t want to break up? Does one want to hook up with those of a certain built, age, and ethnicity? Too often, there’s one more into the idea and the other going along with it.
For – Open Relationships
While one does indeed have to bring it up, the other may have been thinking about it already. Instead of being fearful of their natural feelings, now both in the couple know that it’s a possibility in their relationship. They’re able to be up front and honest about wanting an open relationship and it opens up further conversation. They may determine that they both want different things, but they can also find a ton of mutual interests too.
Here at GayLifeAfter40.com, we respect the right for every couple to do what they please. An open relationship may have worked for you in the past and may not now. You may be in a long-term relationship and be debating, whether or not to make it an open one. We’ve presented some of the main concerns from both sides – now we want to hear about your experiences! Leave a comment and voice your thoughts.
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