Can Two Bottoms Make A Top?

Can Two Bottoms Make A Top?

By Jay Stewart

Here’s a conversation that our heterosexual friends and family never have to have regarding sex– can two bottoms make a top? That’s right, it’s a true struggle that many of us in the gay community have to consider. It becomes even more complicated as we age and become more focused on a relationship versus just a sexual conquest. Let’s say you meet someone, there’s a strong connection, you begin to date, and finally, you’re about to be intimate for the first time. In a hilarious turn of events, you both try to get the other person to top only to realize that you’re both bottoms. Can two bottoms make a relationship work and sexually satisfy each other? I believe so!

Be aware

Being gay after 40, you’ve likely had quite a few experiences with relationships. Many of which are probably related to sexy times with one or more people! You’ve slept with your share of guys from different ages, races, ethnicities, body types, etc. Now be aware that you’re over 40 and no longer sleeping with those people. There’s a reason why and it likely didn’t relate to solely your sex life with them. Your personalities didn’t match, your goals were different, or they were simply a bad fit for you and you regret every moment with them. If you feel a genuine connection for this current individual, then be aware that it’s important to you that you make it work. As well, be honest with yourself! At your current age, you may be looking for more of a companion – an individual that you can be emotionally intimate with. If you’re fully aware and invested in this relationship working, then you will find ways to make it successful.

Be open

Now that you’re aware that you definitely want to be with this current person, then it’s time to be open. I want you to be open to the possibility that you’re not an exclusive bottom. Sure, it may be your present sexual position of preference, but that doesn’t link to exclusivity. Perhaps, you just dated a lot of tops and that’s the position that you defaulted to doing. Or you could be very well hung and never found a bottom that could handle your impressive length and/or girth. There’s a plethora of reasons for your present bottom situation. In the present moment, I want you to be open to the possibility that you could be a top and an excellent one to boot. If you’re open to giving it a genuine number of tries, then you may surprise yourself and thoroughly enjoy it. Notice my emphasis on doing it number of tries! It’s not enough to try it once, determine it didn’t work, and give up. If you’re going to commit to being open, it means trying until you succeed! Here’s how you can increase your chances of success – by being creative.

Be creative

You’re aware and open, but are you creative? You may be gay and over 40, but it doesn’t mean that you have to be boring, especially when it comes to sex. If you do determine that you’re both happiest as bottoms, then embrace that and revel in it. Now be creative in ways that you can sexually please one another. First, use the wisdom that comes with your age and know that sexual pleasure doesn’t only stem from penile stimulation. You can massage one another, lick every inch of their body, pour hot wax on them, tie each other up, use a double headed dildo, vibrators.  and even as a last resort invite a top over every once in a while to spice things up. If you’ve spent your whole life trying to find the one and believe that you’ve succeeded, then be creative and find ways to keep the relationship alive sexually.

Take a long look at your partner and allow yourself to indulge in the emotions that they make you feel. Being gay after 40, you know that having someone that brings you immense happiness is a rarity in life. You’ve found something that you’ve craved for years and it’d be pretty foolish to let it go over something that you can definitely work through. If you’re truly invested in this person, then you both being bottoms is something to view as a positive. It may seem to others like an imperfect fit in our sexually focused gay lifestyle of today. Forget about them and allow yourself to break the unfounded notion that two bottoms can’t make for an awesome relationship. The next time you’re asked, “Can two bottoms make a top?” You respond simply with, “Definitely!”

What do you think? Has this happened to you? Are you  in relationship, where both of you are bottoms or both of you are tops? What did you do? Please share and leave comments below.

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Did You Know?

We do hold group and private life coaching at GLA40 for a small fee to help you over overcome obstacles that may  interfere with your ability to have a fulfilled  life.

To get serious results, one may need to make an investment in themselves for an  ultimate transformation.

Many of us at our age  are driven by a deep knowing that we were born for a certain reason. Maybe, you feel that your life is not totally fulfilled yet , and you have  decided that you don’t want to waste your time anymore. If not now, when will you actually lead a more fulfilling life or get help with a problem that you may have carried with you for over 20 years? But  your heart and soul must be invested in the process in order to be effective. If you’re not ready to take bold action, please wait until you are before hiring us..

If you’re ready to age forward and begin your own transformation and your heart and soul are saying, “ Lets Do this!” ,  I hope you’ll take the leap with us and contact us at will@gaylifeafter40.com