Gay Sex After 40+

By William Smith

When it comes to gay sex, many people after 40 will have problems that they may not have experienced before. It is a popular belief when one is younger that one is very sexual and as time goes on the drive for sex lessens. In my opinion, I believe that this is not entirely true. My sex drive is just as strong as I was in my twenties but it is more controllable. It isn’t our first rodeo , so one can wait a while to get back on the saddle. For some, the saddle might be a little dusty, dry and may have cobwebs but like riding a horse..it will become natural again.

The problem when sex does occur, one may not get that full ercetion that one so desires. What can be the problem? Well, it could be several things:

First, you might have an anxiety-related erectile dysfunction. It is all in your mind that you can’t get it up and it occurs because you keep on thinking about it. Your partner can help you thru this by understanding it and being your cheerleader. I know based on my own experiences, that just having an understanding partner can go along ways in getting you to go all the way. Taking small steps to get your confidence back again, by having small victories with your sex partner can ease the anxiety. You can also find a trained counselor with experience in this area of treatment by contacting the American Association of Sex Educators, Counselors, and Therapists (AASECT)

Second, you may need more stimulation to get excited. Being fondled and touched may just do the part . After talking to several long term relationship gay couples and doing informal surveys, there are differing ways couples explore sex than the traditional stereotypical belief of what Gay men and Lesbians do between the sheets.

This may also help older gay men and lesbians that may not have the stamina to perform like they did in their twenties and thirties.

One may get tired by now with the question, “Are you a top or a bottom?” , and look at other alternatives that date back to ancient Greece such as intercrural sex and frottage . Tops or bottoms are old-fashioned labels that may have worked at one point in one’s life but may no longer serve a modern gay man who wants more intimacy and more of nourishing relationship as equals . I believe changing it up can make it so much more fun and laid back .

Frottage is the general term for the act of rubbing any part of the body, including the buttocks, the breasts, abdomen, thighs, feet, hands, legs and sexual organs against the sexual organ of another person. With Frottage one is in an “equal” playing field with his/ her partner because of mutual stimulation and more of an intimate experience.

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Intercrural sex (from “inter-” and Latin “crura”, legs), is a type of non-penetrative sex, in which a male places his penis between his partner’s thighs (often with lubrication), and thrusts to create friction.

They may also stimulate the anal area with foreplay and alike ( which helps prevent prostate cancer) and not penetrate it in the traditional sense.

Also, sex toys may also enhance your sex life and provide further stimulation. Gay Life After 40 has a code to purchase sex toys at a discounted price with free shipping.

This should help you and your sex partner achieve some victories and you may lessen the anxiety and build more arousals .

Third, there are FDA-approved medications specifically for ED treatment are effective for many men. These include medications taken by mouth, injected directly into the penis, or inserted into the urethra. This should be your last resort. Try the other two first.

Finally , some physical problems may prevent you from having the sexual experiences that you used to have.

ED , according to WebMD, can be caused by:
•Heart problems, such as high blood pressure and atherosclerosis
•Diabetes — between 35% and 50% of men with diabetes experience ED
•A variety of prescription drugs, including medications for blood pressure, anxiety, and depression
•Neurological disorders, like Parkinson’s disease and multiple sclerosis
•Hormonal imbalances
•Mood or emotional problems such as stress, anxiety, and depression
•Lifestyle habits such as smoking and drinking alcohol
•Certain types of prostate and bladder surgery

I hope this article helps those who are looking for something different. A sexualized Gay men also needs intimacy, love and respect . As always. utilize safe sex and know your partners. We will be expanding on this topic of Gay Sex After 40 further in the next few articles. Please leave comments of what you think . Keep on Aging Forward!