Rejection While Dating Sucks over 40! ( Deal With It! )

Rejection While Dating Sucks! Learn To Deal With It!

By Jay Stewart
Fellow gay guys over 40, let’s take a moment to commiserate over rejection! As gays over 40, we’ve faced it at different times in our lives. We didn’t get the job that we wanted, our bid on that beautiful was denied, and of course, that muscular well-endowed guy shot down our advances. This last one tends to hurt us the most. We usually can rationalize that other applicants were better qualified and other bids were higher than ours for the condo. When it comes to dealing with dating rejection, we pile on the negative reasons without being rational whatsoever. Yes, rejection while dating sucks, but it’s time to learn to deal with it.

Embrace Rejection

As previously stated, rejection happens a lot! If you think about your week, you likely endure rejection quite often. You just miss getting through that traffic light. Your barista informs you that they’re all out of your favorite drink. Your boss turns down your request to spend a week in Provincetown. In each of these situations, you don’t curl into a ball, curse yourself for being gay over 40, and never attempt any of them again. Instead, you wait for the light to turn green, you order your second favorite drink, and you fly down for just the weekend to Provincetown. Dealing with dating rejection needs to be done the same way. First, you must embrace it and then, you need to reflect on it.

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Positively Reflect

You’ve mustered up the courage to take your gay over 40 body out to the club. You’ve downed some liquid courage, did a few vanity push-ups, and now feel like it is time to conquer the party scene. Fast forward many hours later, you’re waking up in bed alone reflecting on the rejection that you faced last night. Don’t be negative, start playing with your love handles, and blame it all on your receding hairline. Positively reflect on the knowledge that you received. Perhaps, it was simply the wrong venue. Maybe you’d have more success in a different environment. Think about who you were going after, maybe it is time to open up your ‘perfect man’ statistics. A part of positively reflecting is to see if your dating rejection is predetermined.

Rejection Is Predetermined

Are you setting yourself up for rejection? Have you created a ‘perfect man’ that has yet to appear in 40 years? Often times, we reflect on our personal rejections and forget about how often, we reject others. If you’ve been going after the same guy, since you were in your teens, then let’s widen the interests a bit. You’ve changed a ton over the last 25 years, shouldn’t your tastes too? Next time that you’re out with friends, see who you immediately are drawn to. Now question that! Are you setting yourself up for rejection? Look around that room and see who’s drawn to you. Pick out one and start up a conversation. You never know where it’ll lead you – a one-night stand, an intense love affair, or even a marriage proposal.

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Network The New You

Now that you’ve embraced it, reflected on it, and seen your place within rejection, it’s time to get the word out. This involves letting colleagues, friends, and family know that you’re beyond whining about dating rejection. You’re embracing your gay over 40 self and creating a new future for yourself. Now this is all easy to say you’re going to do, but it’s difficult to put into action. Many of you will be tempted to simply widen your network on social apps (e.g. Grindr, Scruff, Hornet). You’ll change your previously set filters to include different ages, body types, and ethnicities. This a great first move, but the real step is to let those closest to you know about it. This way, they can help to locate your newly determined perfect guy. Also, they can support you if the dating rejection hits again! Again, look at different venues that GLA40 promotes in 90 days to a New Gay Social Life.

http://www.gaylifeafter40.com/90-days-new-gay-social-life/

Rejection sucks!!! The great news is that being gay after 40 means that you’ve dealt with all types of rejection and you’re still here. Now rejection while dating can be a bit harder to get over, but it can be done. The first step is to embrace that rejection (we’re talking a big ol’ bear hug towards rejection), then you’ll positively reflect on rejection (yes, it’s possible to be positive), which usually leads to discovering how you predetermine rejection (oops, it’s your fault!), and finally, you network the new you to friends and new men in new venues.