10 Tips for Gay Dating Over 40

By William Smith

1. Organize the date. If you asked a guy out for a date, organize the date. The worst thing you could do is ask him where to go on the day that you are going on the date. It sends a message that you are unorganized and didn’t care enough to plan it. It makes you look indecisive as well. It could be simple like meeting for coffee but know where you are going.  Text him or call him to confirm the date , time and location  the day before. I know this sounds basic but there are many guys that don’t do this. We all have busy lives and he may forget.

2. Establish a Social Budget for 6-12 months. The worse thing you can do  is not have the money to go on a date. We all have mortgages, maybe alimony payments, kids going to college, etc. .  You might meet a hot guy that you really like but you can’t scrape enough cash to go out. So many times when you least expect to meet a special someone, you do.

3. Don’t give away your story. Do not give out your life story on your first 5 dates. We are 40 + years old, we have a lot we can tell. Keep him wanting to learn more about you. If you  tell him everything about you, he will not need to have a second date with you . Have him hanging and wondering. If you leave a date, he will want to go out again because he will want more. Keep financial information and alike out of the conversation.  Your not applying for a car loan!

Also, if you tell him , for example, about your sexual escapades, he might enjoy the story but he will figure you’re a slut and never call you again. You may have been a slut 10 years ago, but you’re not any more. People change and you’re getting older. We evolve as gay men as we get older. There are things that I wouldn’t do now that I did when I was younger. Keep your personal sexual stories private.  Also, he may think your slutty and want to have sex and you really don’t want to but you gave him a false perception.

4. Be a Positive Personality. Do not be bitchy. Don’t make fun of the wait staff or complain about the service. Do not criticize other patrons, for example, pointing out how fat a guy is or make fun of straight people. Do not criticize your date’s hair, lack of hair, eyebrows, clothes, etc. Trust me all these things have happen to me. I never went out with these  guys again despite them calling me again for a second date. I don’t like negative energy in my life. Stay away about talking about past relationships, work related  problems, etc. .  If he asks you about past relationships , tell him only positive aspects and say “we decided to move on”. ..that is all.

5. Don’t get Drunk/ Refrain from swearing . You may be nervous because you may have not had a date for a while. Do not get drunk on your first date by having too many drinks. He may think you have an alcohol problem when you do not. Also, the worse thing that you can do is start swearing in your conversation.  It creates negative energy and may scare him away.

6.   Don’t sleep with the guy! This is not your first rodeo. It kills the mystery. You might be falling in love because of the attention and not the person. He is less likely to call back. It lowers the man’s opinion of you. After the fifth date, it might be a consideration but that is it.

7.  Ask him open-ended questions. Let him do most of the talking. Show interest in the person. It shows you care..

Are you a reader or are you more into movies?

Who’s the person in your own life you admire most?

Do you like spontaneity or do you like routine?

If you could travel the world, which are the five places you’d never miss?

So what’s your current passion in life?

Are you close to your family?

8. Turn your cell phone off.   It is rude to answer a phone or to text.

9. Offer to split the check. If you were asked on the date, don’t expect your date to pay the bill. Assisting with the bill, makes you appear helpful and understanding.  

10. Text him later after the date is over. Tell him that you had a great time and that you would like to see him again or text him and tell him that he s is a great guy but he is not what you are looking for in a man. Wish him the best. It is not easy but do not leave the guy hanging if you are not interested.

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Keep on Aging Forward!

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Many of us at our age  are driven by a deep knowing that we were born for a certain reason. Maybe, you feel that your life is not totally fulfilled yet , and you have  decided that you don’t want to waste your time anymore. If not now, when will you actually lead a more fulfilling life or get help with a problem that you may have carried with you for over 20 years?. But  your heart and soul  must be invested in the process in order to be effective. If you’re not ready to take bold action, please wait until you are before hiring us..

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