Find New Love By Closing Old Wounds

Find New Love By Closing Old Wounds
Reaching the Golden Age of Dating
by Ramon Johnson

Many years ago, a friend and I relished in our ability to cite the most fabulous of historical monarchs, Elizabeth I.  It’s said that the young queen harbored in the Golden Age of British prosperity. Even so, she lost her personal war on love.
“I am married to England,” Elizabeth declared in herring defiance to the miscreant Sir Robert Dudley.  She risked her crown for her adorer.  He, in return, broke her heart by plotting against her life. She kept him alive despite his treason as a constant reminder of how close she came to danger—declaring her independence from the like of any man. Her primary concern became matters she could control, not unpredictable men.

Modern day love isn’t quite as melodramatic, but my friend and I had experienced our fare share of no good Dudley’s.  Our dates always started out with excitement and ended in complete anarchy.  Some mini-relationships lasted a few hours, others weeks until they suddenly ended with us left alone in a tower of loneliness and regret.  We began dating with extreme caution, assuming that every man would inevitably break our hearts.

It’s understandable: Why would we surrender to the monstrous dating scene? We’d been hurt so many times. The crown of our hearts proved to be much more fragile than one of a kingdom. Instead of harboring in a new age of love, we wallowed in our lost opportunities.

There needed to be a change if we were ever to break the cycle. In order to make room for better love, we had to free our crowded perceptions.

Far too many of us take the bitter queen approach to love. You see, the mistake Elizabeth made was keeping Lord Robert alive. We too kept our old failures alive in the form of resentment, anger, bitterness and mistrust.  And holding on to past failures leaves little room for future possibilities. Our crown jewels don’t always have to be protected in order for us to be fully appreciated by other men. Each opportunity must be approached with a clean bully of possibilities.

Sour subjects exist in every realm of dating potentials.  And most of us, at some point or another, have fallen victim to their folly.   But better, more affirmative men await our approach.  Only by sending old wounds to the gallows can we harbor in a new, more prosperous golden age of dating.

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Ramon Johnson

With over ten years experience in digital journalism and new media field, Ramon has dedicated his career to advance the equal representation of disadvantaged and underrepresented peoples.

Experience:

In 2008, Ramon was named ‘GLBT Person of the Year’ by GayAgenda and in 2009, Gay Life at About.com was selected as ‘Best Gay Lifestyle Blog’ by BestGayBlogs.com. Ramon was regular speaker at youth diversity organization Live Out Loud Reciprocity Foundation, and a youth mentor at The Ali Forney Center, an LGBT homeless youth service organization. He was named one of Clik Magazine’s 25 Most Influential Gay African-Americans in media for his contributions to the LGBT community and has been a guest gay lifestyle expert on Proper Television’s “TV Made Me Do It,” Q Television’s “On Q Live,” “The Derek and Romaine Show” on Sirius Satellite Radio and New York’s Power 105 morning radio show