An Evaluation of the Normality of LGBT Families

Since the 1990s The American Psychological Association has found through extensive research that there is no difference between the normality of children raised by LGBT parents, and those raised by heterosexual parents. The intention of this article is to show that this normality implies several different attributes of growth and development amongst families raised by an LGBT parent or parents. It is also intended to show how the crisis and trauma of identity confusion, and denial can be redefined to become issues, circumstances and situation, and ultimately questions about question which we raise. I will be discussing a few detailed subject matters, that focus on this determination, and which may go against the grain of some family concerns hoping to achieve a grade of expectancy, but will be of no surprise to LGBT parents of homosexual families.

 

Well being
Concerns of LGBT parents, who maybe biological or serving as foster parents will have issues of neglect and abandonment amongst those members of the families they are raising. In many discussions with PFLAG NYC, I have found it is not uncommon for there to be a period of distance between the raising of children and their LGBT parents. In contrast to the hot and cold running waters that seem to go on and off again amongst those who wish to accept this distance, LGBT members of a family often face this issue with signs of identity confusion, and does not clearly define what exactly we can expect, and what we were intended to believe. The normality that is shown by empirical evidence is based on a strong foundation of research, but may not uncover the pearls of diversity which do justice to the LGBT family, as being one of service, commitment and dedication. Living in the system then becomes the challenge of many LGBT parents raising families to show their accountability in fostering a positive environment for their children to be raised in.

Emotional
Perhaps the one common factor of all of our Civil Rights issues is that of prejudiced. For same sex parents this may take the form of conflicts and struggles within their child’s school system, and amongst peers. How often will a child defend their homosexual parents, and their right to be a family only to be bullied, or harassed by their peers, how often will an LGBT child wish to scream out “I wish I weren’t Gay.” Transgender role playing is not only common amongst children who get a thrill from dressing as the opposite sex, but is also a temporary and sometimes permanent state of condition of many LGBT parents. I myself am a Transgender single Father who looks at his sports jackets, with one sense of ownership, but who as a transvestite feels completely liberated in women’s clothing. The emotional question then becomes of behavioral modification. A modification of looking at what separates us and what binds us together in unity. By examining the full picture of humanity we find there is no gender specific model for parents, and that humanity is strengthened by the diversity of the lives of the entire population.

Social
The greatest experience of being an LGBT parent is knowing that the reflection of your example can lead to an introspection, a self reflection, and if you like an introversion, which allows for a child’s psychology to be more contemplative, thoughtful, creative, and compassionate. The social issue here develops into a cause and effect of being different, but only different in whose eyes. What LGBT parents are discovering is that living with their children is a learning experience, that together we are learning we have to face this struggle against prejudiced or be eaten up alive by what it involves. This point defines for our purpose how LGBT families are instilling a sense of values that maybe more open than closed, more inclusive than pre-determined, and more differentiated, and diverse than what is thought to be main stream or expected.

Self Esteem
Is same sex sexuality something which really can be judged, all the minds of religion still have a hard time figuring this one out. Self Esteem in LGBT families in its most promising may signify that love in itself is also a learning experience. Self Esteem is usually gained by some form of positive reinforcement. The LGBT Community, and the LGBT spirit amongst gay people offer to its families the reinforcement that we are never alone, and that we learn, embrace, and are knowledgeable of that fact, by the civil outcry of determined people who are hoping only to let others be aware that, while we come from LGBT families our sexual identification, and orientation is strictly the individual’s relationship to what attracts them, their affection found in the same sex, and to which gender they are motivated for sexual inclusion physically, emotionally, and spiritually.

I conclude this brief evaluation of LGBT parents by reinforcing the perception that our families maybe long lasting, the same sex marriage equality is not just an issue for newlyweds, and activists, but has implications on the very structure for what we recognize as a sound basis for our family members.
I also conclude with the comment that this homosexual identity confusion is an issue for many children being raised by LGBT parents, while still an issue for the parents themselves, but it is an issue which is completely normal, and one that can be adjusted with positive reinforcement, and the instillation and direction of appropriate motivational drives.
Biography:
Robben Wainer- LGBT Author published in www.gaylifeafter40.com, transgender pacifist of fundamentalist Christian and Buddhist faith, in a distant gay marriage raising his family as a single Gay Parent.

Suggested Readings:
1. Margie Carter. “Supporting the Growing Identity and Self-Esteem of Children in Gay and Lesbian Families.” 1993 Conference. NAEYC Anaheim.
2. Bridget Fitzgerald. “Children of Lesbian and Gay Parents, A Review of the Literature.” 1999.
Marriage and Family Review, The Haworth Press, Binghamton, N.Y.
3. Charlotte J Patterson. “Lesbian and Gay Parenting.” 1987-93. APA Publishing, University of Virginia.
4. Fioner Tasker, Charlotte J Patterson.”Research on Lesbian and Gay Parenting Retrospect and Prospect. Dec. 5, 2006. University of Virginia, Birckbeck College, University of London, UK