Don’t Compare Yourself to Davey Wavey

By William Smith

I was with a close friend of mine from high school the other night. He was telling me that he ran into someone from our high school class. We graduated over 30 years . He was so delighted that this high school super star lost his shine. I was actually disappointed in him and also sadden . I was sad for him because he kept comparing himself to someone from high school from over 30 years. 30 years comparing yourself to someone else?

I never really compared myself to others.  I admire a person for their traits and try to emulate some of the best parts of their traits but I have always loved myself-my  being. I always was sorta my own man. I am always happy to see people achieve and if they fall–I love to see the comeback. Well, I was thinking about people in general and how comparing themselves to others can really affect their happiness in life.

To real find happiness  , you must stop comparing yourself to others. Psychologically it puts you in a  terrible place. It will make you want to see a therapist!

I see that especially in America. Have you ever wondered why some people in third world  countries seem to be much more happier than others in more advanced countries. They seem to smile and laugh more and live life despite setbacks and death around them. I believe it lies in the fact that they do not compare themselves to each other. They are happy to be alive! We,  as a society , compare each other because of what society dictates is desirable but also we ourselves compare each other to make our selves feel better about ourselves. Why do you think talk shows like Jerry Springer are so popular and alike. We see the guests on those shows and feel really good about ourselves because we know that our lives aren’t that messed up. It may actually make you feel better.

Recognize that comparing yourself to others is a bad habit. Western society often projects flawless skin, big pecs, full lips, small nose, high check bones, pure white teeth, smooth and shiny hair, well-tanned and designer clothes in tall muscled bodies as successful and desirable. If only I looked like that guy, I would have it made in life or at least get laid more. People do not see the airbrushing, the padding  that goes in the clothes or the pins that are tucked from the back . It is not all real. They do not know the real life of that model. He or she may not lead such a glamorous life. They may have real problems but what we see is just an image.

Media and alike categorize these people as glamorous , and want you to believe that you have fewer rights to be happy because you don’t represent the ideal image. You may begin to think that there is something wrong with you when in actually there is nothing wrong with you . Why do you think people cant stop looking at Facebook images? It is a great  tool that is great in meeting people and making new friends but it can hurt someone who already has  low self esteem issues if you are comparing yourself to others. Selfies and alike that are nearly perfect ..happy couples always vacationing and having the perfect house can make even the most self assured individual feel that they are missing out in life. On the other hand, we may dig around and try to search for that former jock in college and almost hoping he became overweight and may not make as much as you.

As gay adults our self esteem is thrown out the window, if all we do is compare ourselves to the likes of a Davey Wavey – ultimate sexy gay guy. I have seen some of his videos and read his Facebook page.  I find him to be a very authentic,  fun, down to earth kind of guy that has a real spirituality about him. He is so nice . I would love just to talk to him over lunch and see what makes him tick and share ideas . But if you are just comparing yourself to him just by body image, you may feel bad about yourself and feel that you have nothing to offer anyone. You might miss that Davey Wavey is spreading a message of love and not division. He is helping others look  and feel better about themselves. Don’t compare yourself to Davey Wavey but learn some things from Davey Wavey. Learn what has worked for him to achieve an optimal physique and a positive mindset.

If you stop comparing yourself to others, your vision of others and the world will change. Successful people never worry what others are doing. They are certainly not comparing their being with someone else’s. They are not certainly comparing their existence  to yours . You can only be you. Comparison is the thief of joy. There will always be those who are ‘better’ than you, and those who are ‘worse’ than you. Don’t waste your time on earth any longer wasting it on others in comparison . Be the real you . You are unique and have so many gifts.

Why compare yourself with others? No one in the entire world can do a better job of being you than you.” ~Unknown

If you are going to compare, compare to  the stuff that counts. Comparing ourselves with someone else is an inaccurate and irrelevant measuring stick. What you want to compare is yourself.

How far have you come from a struggle in life, how much more successful you have become from just a year ago, two years ago and 5 years ago. If you are working out and learning from Davey Wavey than compare how many inches you have lost in your waist line or how your biceps have grown from 6 months ago. If you recently came out to friends and family and your 40 and above, congratulations. You are becoming your authentic self. You should be proud of how far you have become. If you are in a relationship, measure the growth of the relationship. See what you can do to make it even better than the year before. Do those kind of comparisons . It will make you a better person, a better partner.

Don’t be brainwashed  any longer into living a life that really is not yours. You have the right to pursue happiness and to be happy. In America, it is in our Declaration of independence. If you forgot who you are, find yourself again by refusing to compare yourself to others.

Keep on Aging Forward!

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Did you know?

We do hold group and private life coaching at GLA40 for a small fee to help you over overcome obstacles that may  interfere with your ability to have a fulfilled  life.

To get serious results, one may need to make an investment in themselves for an  ultimate transformation.

Many of us at our age  are driven by a deep knowing that we were born for a certain reason. Maybe, you feel that your life is not totally fulfilled yet , and you have  decided that you don’t want to waste your time anymore. If not now, when will you actually lead a more fulfilling life or get help with a problem that you may have carried with you for over 20 years? But  your heart and soul must be invested in the process in order to be effective. If you’re not ready to take bold action, please wait until you are before hiring us..

If you’re ready to age forward and begin your own transformation and your heart and soul are saying, “ Lets Do this!” ,  I hope you’ll take the leap with us and contact us at will@gaylifeafter40.com