Community Builder Barry Schoenfeld

Name: Barry Schoenfeld

Birth Place: Yonkers, NY

Occupation: Community Builder

Words that best describe you?  Curious & relentless

Who has been your biggest influence in your life? 

My Parents, Gay Elders (such as Harry Hay, Malcolm Boyd, Mark Thompson and Don Kilhefner)

When did you become out to friends and family?

Never – they just figured it out after college, and I never denied it.

I would give anything to meet…

Harry Hay

Your idea of a perfect evening is?

At home, in front of a roaring (wood) fireplace with my husband and no electronics.

The last book I read was ….

Me & Barbra

 My favorite movies/plays are?

Airplane!, Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf, Angels in America, Singin’ in the Rain

Has social media had an impact on the way you feel about your age and of being Gay? 

Good and bad.  A great way to make new connections, build community and re-connect with old friends.  A terrible way to genuinely and authentically connect, which too many men use to “hide behind,” with things they would NEVER say in public.

Nobody knows that I ……

have a dark side.

What’s your favorite place in the entire world?

Wellfleet, Cape Cod, Massachusetts

What’s the most spontaneous thing you’ve ever done?

Rapelled down a 15-story building, face down, in Auckland, New Zealand…twice!

What odd talent do you have? 

I know the words and music to most Gilbert & Sullivan operettas.

What had been your biggest setback or failure in life and how did you overcome it? 

The death of my first love & partner, Ezra Litwak at the way-too-early age of 33 to AIDS.  You don’t overcome something like this.  I do my best to remember how much better a man he made me; the things he introduced to my (like David Bowie); and that he still is, and will always, be a major part of me for the rest of my life.

If I could meet my younger self, I would tell him…

Follow your passion(s), and try to be your authentic self.

Speaking of passion, I know you are passionate about CalComMen.  You founded CalcomMen. It is a great group !

Can you tell us a little about this organization?

CalComMen is a radically diverse & inclusive community of over 10,000 passionate, caring & heart-centered gay, bi, trans, queer & straight men-who-love-men, 18-90+ of all colors of the rainbow, sizes, shapes, faiths & beliefs, who come together to create spiritual & social events weekly, personal growth workshops monthly and four annual, joy-filled weekends that we call “Community Camp” in February (Presidents Day), May (Memorial Day), late-July (Summer Camp), and September (Labor Day).

Combined with being drug, alcohol, smoke and electronics-free, we believe this is something unique among in Southern California, and closely aligns with the values, beliefs & consciousness of the Northern California Billys and the global Radical Faerie movement.

If someone is interested in joining more than  10,000 other wonderful men, get on our email list by sending your name & email to: Info@CalComMen.com., and come share your own magick with us!”

What are the biggest challenges you have as a gay man after 40?

Accepting the reality that I AM over 40, but that it’s SO different than it was for my parents (who had four kids by 33); and the freedom (and responsibility) I feel to continually re-invent my life.

What would you like to say to the Gay Life after 40 tribe?

60 is the new 30…but only if you want it to be.

Where can our readers find you or know more about you? 

On Facebook at https://www.facebook.com/barry.schoenfeld, or directly by email at barry123s@gmail.com