LGBT Care Giving for a Loved one

Care Giving for a Loved one By William Smith

In a MetLife Study, LGBT respondents are slightly more likely to have provided care to an adult friend or relative in the past six months: 21% vs. 17% ( General Population) . Both men and women are likely to be caregivers in near equal proportions: 20% men vs. 22% women in the LGBT group, and 17% men vs. 18% women in the general population sample. Male caregivers report providing more hours of care than female caregivers: the average weekly hours of care provided by women from both the LGBT and general population samples is similar—26 vs. 28 hours—but LGBT men provide far more hours of care than men from the comparison sample: 41 hours versus 29. This reflects that about 14% of the gay men indicate that they are full-time caregivers, spending over 150 hours per week in this capacity, compared to 3% of the lesbian and 2% of the bisexual respondents.
[MetLife: Still Out, Still Aging. 2010. Study of Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender Baby Boomers] – Updated: November 2012

According to the Affirmations Lesbian and Gay Community Center:

• Nearly 20% of gay seniors have no one to care for them should they become ill, versus 2% for heterosexual seniors.
• 2/3 of gay seniors live alone versus 1/3 of heterosexual seniors.

Caring for a loved one can be a rewarding feeling. You give of yourself for someone who is in need. However, it can cause people to feel rundown, stressed and possibly get sick themselves. I used to hear from time to time that the sick person survives the caregiver. I have seen that thru experiences  in my life. What can we do about? 

Here are my 5 suggestions:

1. Learn about the condition or illness. The more you know about the condition, the more prepared you can be to solve any problems that may arise. You will have the resources and tools within reach. Knowing what to expect can lower your stress level and anxiety. You will be able to understand what your loved one is going thru and communication will be better.

2. Ask for help. Have a family member or friend watch over your loved one so you can have a break. Call a referral company like Care Patrol to refer you to an in home care agency to give you some time for yourself. Also, several assisted  living communities  offer respite care for a loved one so the caregiver can take a vacation or take a few days off . Everyone who is a caregiver needs a break and one should not feel guilty doing so.  It will make you a better caregiver. Also, joining a support group can unload some of the stress and grief that one is experiencing realizing that you are not alone gives one solace.

3. Take Small breaks  . Go outside for a walk and take deep breaths or relax in the backyard. Read a book or watch a video. Just taking a break and removing yourself from the environment can improve your well-being.

4. Stay in Good health  . So many times, I see the caregiver making sure that the loved one is eating properly and taking their vitamins , etc. and totally neglecting themselves. You are not a machine. Get regular health and dental checkups. Eat healthy meals and snacks. Exercise can lower stress and increase your energy . Have regular sleep patterns. Again, seek support groups to help relieve mental stress.

5. Stay Positive-avoid being negative. It is not always easy but a positive attitude can help you be a better caregiver. You also offer dignity to your loved one and they will feel safer and loved. You will feel good that you are doing the best that you can even if your loved one cannot respond to you or is indifferent.

Providing care for an aging loved one is truly a humbling experience. We all will get older and face some of the same challenges. It teaches us to look adversity in the face and keep on aging forward with resiliency and grace.

Care giving is a huge responsibility and not everyone can do it. I hope this article helps you . Again, if it becomes overwhelming, please ask for help. If you have other questions or comments, please leave them in the comment section.

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Did You Know?

We do hold group and private life coaching at GLA40 for a small fee to help you over overcome obstacles that may  interfere with your ability to have a fulfilled  life.

To get serious results, one may need to make an investment in themselves for an  ultimate transformation.

Many of us at our age  are driven by a deep knowing that we were born for a certain reason. Maybe, you feel that your life is not totally fulfilled yet , and you have  decided that you don’t want to waste your time anymore. If not now, when will you actually lead a more fulfilling life or get help with a problem that you may have carried with you for over 20 years? But  your heart and soul must be invested in the process in order to be effective. If you’re not ready to take bold action, please wait until you are before hiring us..

If you’re ready to Age Forward and begin your own transformation and your heart and soul are saying, “ Lets Do this!” ,  I hope you’ll take the leap with us and contact us at will@gaylifeafter40.com