Don’t Get Hooked in: Online Dating Scams
by William Smith
Looking for Love? Sure. But where? Online Dating sites have been so popular for so long. It makes sense to meet hundreds of people in a short time in the coziness of your own home instead of meeting guys in various venues . It can save time and money. So where does the online dating scams fall into this ?
There are some scammers out there on the other side waiting just for you. They are looking at the profiles of gay males that are ages 40 and up . Most Internet scammers operate and are concentrated in countries like Australia, Russia, the Ukraine, Malaysia, the Philippines, Nigeria, Ghana, the UK and South Africa. Not all men from these countries are guilty of scamming but a majority of incidences have been reported from these locations to make one pause before getting involved . Their objective is to hook you in and get cash and gifts.
These are the immediate signs of a scammer:
- They focus on 40+ gay males. They figure they are lonely and lack confidence in themselves in finding someone.
- There is usually a 20 year difference in age.
- They may say they are living in the USA originally on their profile but all of a sudden have to go to the UK or Africa, etc. due to a problem like a job transfer, parents sick, etc.
- He says he is looking for a man who is trustworthy in his profile.
- He wants to immediately know about your life especially what you do for a living, and do you live alone. He wants your phone number and your personal email address and your maybe your home address.
- He wants you to leave the secured dating site and chat by emails and even texting by phone. He will ask you for your email address within an hour of chatting with him on the dating website. He wants to avoid getting deleted or blocked. The more he can find out about you, the better. Do not give him your phone number. If you feel compelled to get to know him, then ask for his number. Google the area code. Most likely it is in a foreign land.
The relationship will build really fast. He will call you his love and his boyfriend in just days.
You may get an email from him and it will be missing your name or contain someone elses. It feels and sounds like a form letter. In the letter, he may even say he is looking for the perfect girl. If you question him, he will question your trust and say it was a mistake about the girl thing.
Example:
I would like to find a man who wants happiness and can appreciate a good, honest, sprightly woman with strong family values. I hope, some fine day I will find my soulmate, I am open to honest people. I need a real friend too, we should trust each other and talk about everything. I’m looking for a mature and harmonical relationship, where both will feel comfortable and cozy. I want to find a good man with good manners, gentle, strong and tender at the same time. Someone who will be ready for a new love story and to forget about the past.
- There will be a very limited amount of pictures of him. He looks like a model . If it is too good to be true, it usually is . Most pictures are never in casual environments but done in a studio or photo shopped.
- He will come up with excuses of why he cannot use webcam. Web cam is available in all countries especially at internet cafes.
The scammer talks a lot about honesty and trust in less than 5 minutes.
An actual real example demonstrates this:
“I am looking for someone honest and truthful to chat and see how it goes. I am not into games. I am very honest and truthful and I want someone the same.”
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(just now)
Hope you will tell me more about yourself in your next reply.
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(just now) I am also Fine,I’m highly impressed with your cooperation and I will love to know more about you if you don’t mind.My name is Richard Klopah.I am 35 years of age.I am mixed raced guy.My mum was an Italian and my Dad was an American.I spent most of my time living in Livorno,Italy until i lost my parents in a Car accident some couple of years ago.Life was very tough for me in Italy and so i had to move back to Texas,USA and the continue with Life.My life has been full of tragedies because I’ve never found any Kind Hearted person who is willing to spend the rest of his life with me.I live in a Rented Apartment here in Houston.I work as a Civil Engineer.I do architectural Designs and Arts and my work allows me to get business appointments from Companies all over the world.Talking about my hobbies,I enjoy sex,deep kissing,shopping,reading of books,cooking and visiting the Cinema when am lonely.
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(2 mins ago) For how long have you been single and searching?How many guys do you chat with apart from me?
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(2 mins ago)I thank you very much for your heart touching message.I have been a gay all my life.My parents were always proud of me because they knew that was my life.I have been single for about 3 years now after my ex partner cheated on me and dumped me for another guy.I was very supportive and loving to him but he never appreciated.I feel very lucky to meet a great man of your Caliber on A4A. Besides,its my first time on A4A and a good friend of mine recommended this dating app for me.To be honest with you,you’re the only guy am chatting with and I will love to know more about you because you sound very positive..I just can’t stop staring at your A4A profile picture.You look so stunning and Cunning.I also think we share something common.Who knows,we may be God sent to each other.
Now he will try to take you off the dating site so he can not get reported and try to get more personal information.
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(just now) You can leave me your Phone number and email address in your next reply.Hugs and Kisses to you.
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(just now) I am a very loyal,Caring,Loving and and a God fearing person.I am not really bothered with age or distance because i believe love has no boundaries.I am ever willing to love my man with all my heart and then make his happiness my number one priority. If a man treats his man with respect and tenderness, who cares how old he is.I am a Christian by religion and my Favorite color is blue. If you don’t mind,I will like us to enjoy some privacy as we get to know more about each other. We can chat on an instant messenger and then share some emails and texts if you don’t mind.This is my email address rklopah@gmail.com
The hook of getting the money goes like this:
- He may need money in order to purchase a web cam to finally see his love.
or
- The mother and father died years ago. He is taking care of his sister. The sister and him are in near poverty. His sister becomes sick. He needs help for her medicine.
or
- He has been robbed. He is staying with friends. They are mean to him. They are treating him like dirt.
or
- He wants to visit you but he needs money for a visa and travel. He will pay you once he gets a job in the states. You send him money. When he is planning to leave go and see you, there will be a problem at the port with customs. He needs more money. The custom agent may actually call you and talk to you. The scammer ( your lover) will be in the distance begging you to send him money.
The money will be wired transferred from western union or money gram by you to him. He may even be brazen to ask for your checking account and that he can get the money out of convenience for you because he knows a way how. The scammer keeps asking for money until you can’t afford or the fraud is perceived.
If you do not send the money or more money, he will get angry and say all men are alike. He will say he is heart-broken and that he trusted you. Why, he exclaims, don’t you trust him? ( There is that word “Trust “again) Do not feel sorry for him because he is trying to hook you back in.
If you tell him, your friends that he is scamming you, he will say they are just jealous of you .
He will attempt to contact you maybe two more times and then he will go away and find his next victim.
If you tell him, you lost your job. Don’t find anything sympathy from him. You will never hear from him again . It is nearly guaranteed,
I hope this article helps you. The dating sites are fun to go on. Utilize dating sites as one source of meeting guys. Read this linked article because it will stretch your Imagination in looking beyond a website . It is called the Dating Game
Just beware of the scammers. If you have seen some of these guys try to target you on the dating sites, do not get down on yourself or feel you are a loser ….they are targeting anyone that is 40 +. Just block the person and report it. Don’t take it personal! Again, not every guy in these countries is guilty of scamming but you must pause and concentrate on what he is saying to you.
Don’t get hooked in and keep on aging forward with resiliency!
UPDATE
People using dating sites to scam gay men saying they are military men stationed in Afghanistan or else where in the middle east. The scammers are using stolen photos of a real American soldier he has never met. His entire goal is to form a fake relationship in order to steal your money.
The scammer approaches you on a dating site and says he lives in California but he is stationed over there with the military. He says the only way he can talk on the phone is if I write to his commander and he will give you an email address such as a.usarmy@consultant.com . He says he needs you to write to them and ask them if you can have him contact you on your cell phone. He will tell you there might be a fee. You would have to pay before you could talk to him.
0r
He will be back in November of this year and he has a daughter he got a Nanny for her while hes overseas fighting for our country. He is divorced because he is gay and he doesn’t have enough money to pay for the nanny.
Realize
- It is also an offence for troops to publicize details of the deployment of their units over the internet. It would also be rather bizarre to put a Combat unit in the field on a peace keeping mission.
- Single dads who are soldiers cannot just leave their child with a nanny or babysitter–they have written care plans that are reviewed by their superiors.
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Someone will say they are from the states but may call you Mate. They will say you are cute and would you like you to join a group of men that have sex on the weekends on a regular basis. He may show pics of the guys that go to these parties on a regular basis . He will want your private email so he can send you details and the location of the party. In the email, the kicker is that you must fill out a form first in order to be invited in. He will want your name , address, and credit cards number because there is a small fee for joining so they can pay for party favors and alike for the party. Be wary of such forms. If you can’t meet a guy locally , I would advise not giving private information out.
Don’t ever send Nudes..We are at an age where one should be looking for someone at a deeper and more meaningful level …but it still happens !!
Scam Alert to the LGBT Community
Please make everyone aware and Share This
There have been reports in the Ohio, Kentucky, Michigan, and Indiana areas of someone connecting through dating apps then giving cell phone info for people to contact them.
They say they are in their 20’s and start sending nudes. They ask for nudes in return. Then a number messages you, claiming to be a parent. They tell you that you’ve been talking to their underage child and that they are pressing charges.
They say they want to work things out with you. You might even have a missed call from the Local Police or Sheriff. They might even call you to talk with you.
So here’s the truth…
this is a scam.
The Sheriffs office in Columbus Ohio has been getting people reporting it happening this week to multiple people. The point of this scam is to try to get people to pay money to not have whatever pics were sent released or charges pressed. They might ask for gift cards, or other items of value. The Sheriffs department says there is no minor involved but beware of this and to get the word out.
The missed call from local police or law enforcement is a phone app that tricks your caller Id to think someone else is calling. Basically it lets you put in whatever numbers you want to show on the other persons I’d.
Most people know that you shouldn’t ever send nudes on any social media or through text messages but these scam artists are also lying saying that even if you didn’t send anything that you actually did.
If someone has contacted you from the phone numbers of 1 (405) 349-3224 or 1 (803) 566-1168 it is a scam.
Also if you have any questions or have been impacted by this scam in any way please contact the Columbus Sheriff department 1 (614) 525-3448
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From the U.S. Embassy in Ghana warning U.S. Citizens :
U.S. citizens should be alert to attempts at fraud by persons who profess friendship or romantic interest over the Internet, especially those claiming to be U.S. citizens living, traveling or serving in the U.S. military in Ghana. Correspondents’ quick transition to discussion of intimate matters could be an indicator of fraudulent intent. Correspondents may cultivate the relationship for several months before asking for money, but if they are after your money, eventually they will ask for it.
Before you send any money to Ghana, please take the time to do your research and inform yourself. Start by considering the fact that scams are common enough to warrant this warning. Next, look over this partial list of indicators. If any of them sound familiar, you are likely the victim of an internet scam.
- You met a friend/fiancé online.
- You’ve never met face to face.
- Your correspondent professed love at warp speed.
- Your friend/fiancé is plagued with medical or other life problems requiring loans from you.
- You are promised repayment upon the inheritance of alluvial gold or gems.
- You’ve sent large sums of money for visas or plane tickets but the person cannot seem to make it out of Ghana.
- When your friend does try to leave the country, he/she gets into a car accident or is detained by immigration officials demanding payment, bribes, or proof of a certain amount of cash on hand for travel.
- Your correspondent consistently uses lower case “i’s” and/or grammar not in keeping with their supposed life station or education level.
Cases bearing these and similar hallmarks have all proven to be scams intended to prey on sympathetic and compassionate U.S. citizen victims. We advise U.S. citizens not to send money to people they have never actually met. [Note: Even if the request comes from a family member or someone you have met, beware of “Grandparent Scams” and do not send money without first contacting the Office of Overseas Citizen Services.]
Many Americans have reported losing thousands of dollars through such scams. In the event you do lose money, be warned that your chances of getting it back are almost nil. These scammers work from internet cafés and are entirely portable and elusive. Furthermore, this type of crime is not a priority for local police and it is difficult to prosecute these cases. The Embassy can offer a sympathetic ear, share information on protecting yourself against such scams, and help you determine if your situation is real or fraudulent, but cannot do much else. Victims can report the scam to the FBI at www.ic3.gov and might also consider alerting the dating website on which the scammer was encountered.
The anonymity of the internet means that the U.S. citizen cannot be sure of the real name, age, marital status, nationality, or even gender of the correspondent. In the majority of cases reported to the Embassy, the claimed “U.S. citizen” correspondent turned out to be a fictitious persona created only to lure the U.S. citizen victim into sending money.
Please note that a fiancé(e) or spouse cannot simply come to the Embassy and apply for a visa to move to the United States. The process for obtaining a fiancé(e) or spouse visa must be initiated by the U.S. citizen with U.S. Citizenship and Immigration Services. U.S. citizens may refer to U.S. Citizenship and Immigration Services or the Bureau of Consular Affairs for authoritative information about the immigration process and the true costs involved. The Bureau of Consular Affairs also has additional information on Internet Dating and Romance Scams.
If you suspect you may be the victim of a scam, please read through our information on Resources for Victims of International Financial Scams. In the aftermath of a scam, some people have also found support and camaraderie at the following sites started by and for scam victims. Participants have reported that the groups help underscore the breadth of the problem and allow people to see they are not alone. Please note this site is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by the U.S. government.
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If you have been scammed or want to add to this list, please feel free to write a comment. It will only help our community.
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